How lucky some people are like me. To be sitting here in March with our windows open. There are no screens in these frames and the bedroom walls sweat sweet jasmine - the moon exhales hot moisture.
Oceans boil from the core temperature raised.
How lucky some people are like me who love people. We find something devastating and alluring in every hand we shake. In New York in Chicago in Austin of course too. And people in New York in Chicago and of course Austin are amazed by us, too. Or at least they say all the right things to make me think so. I really don't care because sometimes a girl just needs a shoulder massage.
Sugar coated berries are berries all the same.
I consider myself most lucky of all the rational people because I have a brother - a sibling - kinfolk kinda bro. And genetically and circumstantially, he is most like me over any other human in the world. And I, like him. And I like him. In fact, I'm amazed, impressed, humored, challenged and consoled by him.
My little brother is the light of my life.
We are lucky in deed, aren't we?
Lucky Like Me
Hollywood, CA
Hollywood, CA
March 26, 2007
Believe In Someone
Hollywood, CA
Hollywood, CA
March 19, 2007
He thinks I'm gonna be a star. And he told me.
He said that I'm gonna blow up. He said my life will really change. All of a sudden people will be trying to catch a glimpse of me.
I'll be easy to recognize, I guess.
And inside I feel so subtle.
He said that I won't have a problem at all with it though because I've always been so grounded. I balance public perception and authenticity better than anyone he knows.
Of all the compliments I got this week all of them made a difference. And his not anything but front of my mind.
To receive a compliment, someone has to give it. In that way, I feel the praising words speak more about the one whose mouth they are dancing out of than the object of projection they are dancing towards.
Make sure you compliment someone today as least as many times as you wish you had been complimented yourself.
He said that I'm gonna blow up. He said my life will really change. All of a sudden people will be trying to catch a glimpse of me.
I'll be easy to recognize, I guess.
And inside I feel so subtle.
He said that I won't have a problem at all with it though because I've always been so grounded. I balance public perception and authenticity better than anyone he knows.
Of all the compliments I got this week all of them made a difference. And his not anything but front of my mind.
To receive a compliment, someone has to give it. In that way, I feel the praising words speak more about the one whose mouth they are dancing out of than the object of projection they are dancing towards.
Make sure you compliment someone today as least as many times as you wish you had been complimented yourself.
Loosing Face
Hollywood, CA
Hollywood, CA
March 15, 2007
Broken nose bleeding humility's blood. That punch in the face that waters the eyes. That crack to the noggin that spins the outside world. That ringing in my ears is the only thing left after the egotistical delusions fall away.
I am humble tonite. Humble as this fight's looser. Wondering whose side I should have been on all this time. Never to argue this evening. Never to respond in agreance neither. Just empty listening stares. The real kind of listening when I can't even nod my head to urge your continue. I am not processing. I am taking in. I am below any Thinking I Know tonite.
I do not know. Obviously. I was wrong. Again – oh, this learning circle. I thought I was good at something. But I do not know how to dance. I do not know how to act. I do not know how to Love. I am not free. I have just been faking my self-definition so convincingly that I even thought I was doing it dead on. But only myself and those who are faking it too believed I Knew Something.
The real ones are reeling. Like me.
When we get to that reality (oh, this learning circle), where do we go? How do we admit that we are so distracted by whom we have been convincing the other convincers we are, that we forgot we are no one and now we can’t muster the finesse to make it matter in this moment.
Drowning in reality. Not the blaring kind. The bleeding. Hesitant to recreate and risk redecorating this crooked septum with another fine fist.
I bow to your forceful disintegration. I am in need of nothing anymore.
I am humble tonite. Humble as this fight's looser. Wondering whose side I should have been on all this time. Never to argue this evening. Never to respond in agreance neither. Just empty listening stares. The real kind of listening when I can't even nod my head to urge your continue. I am not processing. I am taking in. I am below any Thinking I Know tonite.
I do not know. Obviously. I was wrong. Again – oh, this learning circle. I thought I was good at something. But I do not know how to dance. I do not know how to act. I do not know how to Love. I am not free. I have just been faking my self-definition so convincingly that I even thought I was doing it dead on. But only myself and those who are faking it too believed I Knew Something.
The real ones are reeling. Like me.
When we get to that reality (oh, this learning circle), where do we go? How do we admit that we are so distracted by whom we have been convincing the other convincers we are, that we forgot we are no one and now we can’t muster the finesse to make it matter in this moment.
Drowning in reality. Not the blaring kind. The bleeding. Hesitant to recreate and risk redecorating this crooked septum with another fine fist.
I bow to your forceful disintegration. I am in need of nothing anymore.
