I went to Toronto's raw restaurant today. Boy, was it chilly. Not cold, but downright chilly. I walked to the restaurant and passed another vegetarian on tour, Rob, the set designer and lighting lord - a real punk rock dude. I brought him with me.

The place was bright and simple and clean and healthy feeling. Green and orange and yellow accenting well stated white. Nuevo 50's diner chairs. Upon entering: a warmly lit dessert display case featuring strawberry cheese cake, Greek halva and a suspect stock of lavish cacao bars like Willy Wonka, like "I've got a golden ticket" shit. All gold, green or orange foil each one costing an oompaloompa $20.

I looked closer at the ingredients and there were almost-familiar ingredient names that I recognized as almost-familiar entheogen names. Entheogens are consciousness altering plants. Like morning glory seeds, kava kona root and the exceptional marijuana. Not all consciousness altering plants are drugs. The word drug implies only that a substance is illegal in the United States. Like cocaine, Ritalin and for some reason, marijuana. This ingredient list, however, listed items quite similar to some legal fungus and vine entheogens I am rather familiar with. I will research it on the apple laptop later.

Cool. So don't ask me why my cell phone decided it was time to leave me. Was I avoiding intimacy and withholding sex? Don't ask me. All I know is she was not in my pocket as I sat at the table, removing my metal wallet, skeleton gloves, patchouli oil (the touring artist's absolute) and a concierge desk Toronto map.

The Live Health Cafe has been open just over a year. It is the only raw vegan restaurant in Toronto, ONT. 5 million people live in Toronto, ONT. Jenny Italiano is the founding owner of The Live Health Cafe. For some reason, they decorate with plastic plants, which to the best of my knowledge, don't even kinda do what a real plant does. Or fake me out in any shallow way. I looked up the ingredients of that chocolate bar and yes, they include potent aphrodisiacs and a mild hallucinogen without side effects besides having trouble falling asleep. I, Veruca Salt, "want my golden ticket NOW" and bless Canada, five bites of that of that $20 chocolate bar made me skin roll, feel quite amphibious, and had me squeezing my legs together for two full days.

I never found my phone.

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