Damn dopamine. Why do I get so much of it?

Damn consciousness, why do I got more than my share?

There's a reason we have a cap on our thinking and that is because if we really knew the truth ...

Sometimes this body, that usually gives me so much pleasure just feels way too small and limiting for a being this size. I am vast and I know it is the damn dopamine talking.

But I'm tired of this containment. I'm tired of this ego building, which as a Libra, as an intellect, as a blessed one, I have done so well, like only the best of humans. Every performer has an ego complex. Good performers are self-defined.

There are no bad performers.

But I am the best. And then this presence I've built up around myself, that I can not see outside of nor exist outside of, for yes, I have created myself. This presence doesn't work and the thing that knows where we're going tries to self-destruct this container and all the decorations, including words, hanging off of it so that it can get out to its full size.

Oh, damn truth, why do you keep chasing me with your massive paradoxes and your endless insights and why can't I just be normal, like the rest of the entire world appears to be, just cooking dinner and watching the television and setting the alarm clock instead of this gob damned feeling that I am the chosen one and there is something really important to do that I am missing the entire point of and always will until I finally get out of this fragile, stoopid looking, weak, fake container?

Oh, please bless me with another day of blindness so I can enjoy holding hands once more before I expand out and beyond.

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