Three days ago I was thinking those thoughts that people sometimes think for whatever reason when they feel vulnerable. And need some encouragement. Possibly in line with hormonal flux. Call it a low self-esteem day, cause that's what it was. Three days ago I called my momma and confessed that I felt like an overweight mediocre underemployed dancer and I don't know what I'm doing or why I think I have the right to do it.

Thank goodness I am a relentless, admittedly delusional (what of reality isn't), optimist. I asked myself, swimming in those thoughts, which really kinda hurt my own feelings to think and made me feel like throwing myself to the undertow, I asked myself what I really wanted. And I said, "to be complimented on my dancing by a fellow dancer".

Today I had the distinct honor of auditioning for Twila Tharp, a woman who has done for modern dance what Savion Glover has done for tap. A choreographer that university students study in text books. And after the audition she pulled me aside to tell me that she'd really like to work with me and ask if she could keep me on file. Then she looked me in the eyes with intention, possibly to make sure I was getting what she was offering, and then Twila Tharp said to me, "Tonya, you are a beautiful dancer. I love to watch you dance."

Those words meant the world to me.

Thank you, Universe. I will continue.

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