I have a real smart friend. He is doing something I think would be a cool career in my other life - you know; journalism. But he's real smart, like real real smart and one time he broke different mental illnesses down to neuro chemical brain imbalances and made it sound entirely spiritual at the same time.

Well, I couldn't resist asking about yours and my favorite all time mental illness - the warrior maker, the insomniac creator, the artist midwife, the widow maker, the emotional flavor of the moment: Manic Depression. Otherwise known as Bipolar Disorder, this one could be summed up neuro chemically as follows: rocket serotonin (causing euphoric feelings) coupled with sky high dopamine (produces spiritual feelings). Oh, and then the gross lack of both in a few days and all the cyclical results inbetween.

Seems about right.

Remember I was classic BP for seven years. Classic except I never went on spending sprees. Only anarchist thievery.

Implode: In Michigan, there is something happening. It is hot, and it is humid, but it is secretly autumn inside a piñata, loosing it's nerves, ready to fall apart. Like gold, wine and pumpkin crayons leaving shavings all over the ground.

There is something happening and it feels big. Recently my psychic sense has become unignorable. And spinning poi under the waxing moon in a human green lawn with oak, maple, apple, birch, cherry woods all around, they surfaced like a vision on scrying glass water: I felt I was being watched. I knew it was infact. I turned around and could just barely confirm the presence of six shadowy, waxing moon figures. Surrounded by an audience (a gang?) of dear. We gave each other the stare down, I returned to spinning poi with the Ipod, and they bounced bound away feigning alertness, but I know making up cross-the-road jokes too tell when they finally lit bedtime candles settle in cuddle up settle down.

Well mostrecent, it seems to me I have something big to do. Huge. Massive. And it might be the fluctuations of the neuro chemicals associated with those of us displaying "unpredictability" and "aversion to deadlines" or any other still defined committal thing, but right now I I have just received two very important messages that I can no longer ignore and they are:

1. I receive my extra information via the body (I felt I was being watched) first, then my wildly powerful brain processes it in a microinstant and the connection is made (I know who is calling me before I answer pretty much all the time - and people I call uncannily say these words, "I was just thinking about you"). This is important because when you know how you take in your Otherworld, your psychic messages, your information, you can become better at it. Or just more aware in it.

The other message I received is:

2. I am going to do something Massive. Suddenly it seems I am working too hard to slow that thing down with imperceptible habits and beliefs. I feel like it has begun and I am compelled to get out of its way with my feel-good-being-present-Zen-bullshit. I'm ready to get on it and routinely and actively receive this thing.

I am connected…Damn dopamine.



This is not an illness or disorder. This is not something to medicate.

This is Evolution.

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