You'd think people in Los Angeles never seen a hitchhiker before. They stay so safely isolated behind the tinted glass of their air conditioned SUV's that when a dread locked funkstress comes up and politely pounds on their squeaky clean window at a red light, they look at her like she is Syphilis incarnate. Nonetheless, a Jeep, a Beamer and one Porsche later, I arrived at Whole Foods tonite where I ate my first cooked meal in some time. I chose whole-wheat crackers and vegan cheese. It was delicious, I think. Notably unalive and seriously puffy. How can something taste dead and puffy? That's between you and your crackers, man.

I sometimes wonder if I spare a striking resemblance to Sista Care Free, because I am mistaken frequently on the street for whoever she is. So today I made up a little metaphor I can recite as if I knew something or other about free time, sound smart, and keep signing those forged autographs. Here goes, take it or leave it:

Wearing socks and not wearing socks are opposites. Therefore, if one wants to be barefoot, one would not put on more socks.

Of course, if I were really Sista Care Free, you would know that socks are just a metaphor for work and bare feet, free time.

The reason I am hitchhiking Hollywood is because my veggie-fueled automobile has betrayed me and has been in the shoppe for five days. Now, Los Angeles is not exactly a pedestrian friendly city, but in the face of chaos is when I do my best work. I am stellar with impossible odds. So I consciously created today, walking four and half miles before noon to a commercial audition with my costume, makeup and headshots on my back, yes, uphill both ways - the best morning ever. I smelled southern Calie's spring flowers, I listened to the new Queens of the Stone Age album on my IPod and had real life conversations with some beautiful, some insane strangers. Tonite I was the sometimes beautiful, sometimes insane stranger tapping on idling gas guzzler windows. And it was the best careless day ever. Hey, maybe me and Sista CF got more in common than I think.

You can't work harder to create more free time in your life. There's only one way to have bare feet and that's to take off the damn socks.

0 comments Links to this post