According to quantum physics, the smallest component of matter, the electron, behaves as a particle when observed and a wave when unobserved. How the mastermind scientists tested that one is not the point. What is important here is that our entire world, composed of electrons, neutrons, protons and super glue, only exists because we are "observing" it. Or as I like to say, “agree” upon it. Me and the mango agree that we exist separately as particles, so I can experience it’s luscious juice running down my chin. The vendor agrees that a quarter exists so you can read the daily news. You and I agree that hair exists so we can stand in the mirror and laugh at all the silly places it is or isn’t. Lots of good comes from our agreed upon separation; like hugging, rain storms and tractor pulls (ah, sweet diesel). But as the magicians, monks and musicians only know, when we stop observing and allow our particles to become waves, our separateness ceases to exist---we cease to exist.

What I’m saying is, sometimes touring this awesome country in STOMP, I have been a stranger to everything, recognizing no one and nothing except maybe my pastel hotel room walls (Why pastel, Hotel? Could we please agree upon another reality?). Sometimes in my four-walled room, I feel that no one is observing me---no one is bringing me into existence. When a friend thinks of me or Grandma writes me, for one brief moment I am a particle again, able to experience this beautiful human existence. And ironically for 90 minutes every nite, when I am breaking brooms, garbage cans and knuckles in front of 2,000 people, I am suddenly more alive and real than ever, given life by laughter and the audiences’ observation of me. I then return to my pastel fortress and disappear.

Should I be drinking instead of contemplating the falsity of existence?

Perhaps so! So this, My Friends, is a slurring wino’s shout out to all those old companions and new comrades that have brought me into existence since I disappeared on tour three months ago. A visit from a familiar face is precious to me. To share your time is the ultimate compliment. Thank you for sharing a sunrise, a cup of tea, a massage, a conversation. Thank you for the photos, the raw food, the artistic inspiration, the mangled bear. Thank you for the sunbathing, dream-speaking, trouble-making, the looking-in-the-eyes. Thank you for allowing me to be an observer of you. It is an honor, indeed, to fortify your existence.

In Seattle now---taking a deep, rejuvenating breath from the mayhem of Los Angeles. The great news is that I was cast in my first national commercial last week! Perhaps in the coming months, you will see your dread head friend dancing like a goofball in the name of AT&T Wireless (thank you again, Bobby Ball Agency). If my scene makes the editing cut please let me know, as I will never see it otherwise (television and I haven't agreed on anything). The greater news is that I work for the best company in the world, STOMP, and they supported me like a good brazier, making the entire endeavor possible. And the greatest news is that I am healthy, alive, and have the presence of mind to appreciate all of this as it is happening.

Gratitude is a euphoric state.

0 comments Links to this post